No More Regrets

All my life I have never regretted a thing (except buying that Eminem’s CD) until this morning. I woke up, enjoying my milk and saw DW-TV doing a short scene with Florian Zimmer. He is now one of Europe’s youngest magicians. But what hit me is that he said he was always fascinated by magic and followed that dream ---to learn it, to practice it, and to perform it on stage.

Today is my realisations. I regretted not to follow my dream. I too, had always been awed by coins and cards. Even I know that is just an illusion. For my 11^th birthday I asked my parents for a set of magic equipments I saw in a department store, but they said it is useless. What can I do? It was nowhere near my pocket money. So, instead I bought a trick book in my school’s book bazaar quietly. I studied it through but it was not enough and I kept breaking things, so my parents always tried to discourage me. After a while, I left magic behind. All and all, I am still fascinated by it.

It is not the magic itself, but the world where everything is possible. Look at David Copperfield, Lance Burton, Keelan Leyser, and now Florian Zimmer! They are some of my favourites (Is Criss Angel considered as a magician? He’s cool!). Yes…Try, even with your simple card tricks, you still amazed me.

The real world we live in, there are limitations. I liked to push things to the end of my limit and continue it in another world. I cannot really describe it, but it is amazing by what your imagination does. And those people (illusionist and so) who made those imaginations a reality is truly remarkable!

From this day onwards, I promised myself to do whatever it is I want to do. I do not want to be 50 and said, “I should have done it when I am younger!”

It sounds selfish, but as we all know you don’t know what you’ve got, ‘til it’s gone and regrets always come later.

So, I bow out on this super short entry with some of my principles:

• Live your life wild while you are young
• Always be a kid at heart
• It is the effort that counts
• And dreams go on forever!

Thank You

First, I would have to say that my friends helped me shaped the way I am today. Without them, I will still be the timid shy girl who sits in the back corner of the class. I owed them everything, and could not thank them enough. Well, due to my ‘shyness’ of saying this out loud, I choose to write them this.

Throughout my childhood, I was happened to be somewhat the top 10 in my class, and they used me ---fake friends. Then, my family (excluding dad) and I moved to Singapore because the Jakarta’s situation worsens after the May 1998 riots. There, I met a friend who is in the same shoe, Yuliana. She was my first true friend I have. Things get on and finally I was back in Jakarta after a year.

I moved school once before I am in Bina Bangsa School, where I met so many people along the way that ended up being my friends, which I hope will last for a lifetime. It was not easy at first, I still have trouble to start the first conversation. It is no better now (I’m still shy), but I am trying. They knew and helped me out; pulled me out from my comfort zone. Before long, I am a whole new person.

I had told you that I moved once, yeah? It was SD/SMP Kristen Ketapang II. I do not hate the school, I hate some people there. They are the typical asian aristocracy, snob and all. Fortunate enough, I met a few great friends ---Natalia, Linda, Dona, etc. I had lost contact for most of them, but I still keep conversation with Linda and Dona.

Next, I moved to Bina Bangsa School. The school was okay at the first time, but it is deteorating over time. The system sucks, but you will meet some of the best teachers and friends that you could ever find.

Ms. Vanda, Mr. Thomas, Mr. Yupie, Ms, Yanti, Ms. Ine, etc. The list goes on.

Friends? *whew* I could not even list all of them here. The Newton class of 2003-2005, and Pre-U Sun Tzu class of 2005-2006. They are the best classmates you could ever find! In Newton class, since there were about 26 people of us, a larger crowd is still a bit too much to handle. When it comes to the ‘famous’ Sun Tzu class, we are a solid 12. By then some of us had been together since the school started. We grew up together, problems, the laugh and the tears, and don’t forget all those detentions!

Some of us bonded even more; there are some other people from the class next door too. Irene, Try, Robert, Sing Young, Ryandi, I have been classmates with them since I was in secondary 2 until I graduated last year. Of course there are others too, the 5 girls gang of Newton, (Erica, Stacey, Lily, Irene, and me), Deddy, Levin, Julian, Febie, and Socrates gang! They are all wonderful people that are irreplaceable. I owed them and could not thank them enough, I said that once again. We supported each other, I mean like mobsters. If you insult one of us, it means you insult the whole gang. In a way, it is a wicked feeling!

They are a craziest nutters rebellions bunch, but they are the best! I always look up to them and they are what I want to be!

• To Newton class of 2003-2005: remember the trip we took to Michael’s villa? thanks for making me a part of it

• To Irene: thanks for putting up with my nonsense everyday for the last 5 years and I suppose it will continue :P

• To Yuliana: I know we only meet once a year, but thanks for taking the time to always try to catch up with me. It means a lot. And we’ve been friends for 8 years. ^_^

• To Pre-U Sun Tzu of 2005-2006 and Socrates of 2006-2007: You guys are the best, and the only reason why I keep coming to school in my pre-u year!!

• To Mr. Thomas: You are more than a teacher, you are a mentor. Thanks for supporting me in everything I do when my parents don’t. You taught me all those life lessons. Thanks a lot!

Now that we have to go on separate ways and you too, I hope we will never lose contact of each other. That is why MSN are for. Remember those nights we spent in Lembang, those stunts we done in the pre-u lounge, those hang outs, all the actions and talks! You guys rock my world!!!! Cheers!

15 minutes

I was in the salon the other day and of course, if you want to get a good hair cut, you need a good lighting. So there I was, sitting alone with my thoughts and lamps were blazing to me from all directions and suddenly, “Ah! This must be how the celebrities feel like.” They were in constant exposure by the media, common people be their judges ---letting no single aspect in their life hidden in the shadow. For a moment, I felt really sorry for them.

Any living things need privacy, even animals. Let’s see if any of you can go near a lion while he is eating. I guess it is one of the most fundamental things in life to have a bit of space. To be alone with your thoughts, to ponder what have you had done today, to think what should be done, and to go on putting in action. Just to stop whatever it is that we were doing and to sit/lie down and enjoy 15 minutes of motionless world.

My 15 minutes is different everyday, but there is always the same thought. Do all people in the world do what I do? Can’t they stop whatever it is their doing and smell the flowers? Life will never wait, ‘tis true! But if you stick by the rules and never have fun, then what is life? For example, my mum is a super mum, she had a job, pick us from school, then take us to courses, and do groceries. And if we want to go hang out, she will give us a ride. In one day, imagine that! Got home, did a bit of cooking, and then went straight back to work. I do not know if she is a workaholic or not, but I know that the fast pace and no pauses is her high. She won’t even wait for our maid to open the gates when she got home. What the hell, she has no patience!!! How the “no pauses” could become her high?

I just could not think of such a life, barely a sense of fun in there. So do not blame me for blaming anybody who enjoys working 24-7.

My headmaster caught my friends and I playing computer while we were supposed to be studying for our exams in school, he asked “Are you guys opening ‘good’ websites or ‘fun’ websites?” What he meant ‘good’ is that the educational stuffs, and ‘fun’……oh well you know (at that time we were playing tribal wars). We knew it is awful to lie, so we tell him the truth. Unexpectedly, he said “Good!”

Therefore, moral of the story is studying is important, but playing is essential too. Give your brain some rest after being used all day in class. That is if ever USED in class….just kidding.

Another 15 minutes topic to ponder about is how much you have changed from the past, which could be useful for the future. How else could you changed to be less annoying? For me, how to be more prankish? (ROFLMAO) No, really, you will be surprised. Just remember what mistakes you have done, what things you regret, it will somehow affect your future doings.

So why not taking 15 minutes to ponder, or maybe 15 minutes to do nonsense? After all, it will keep us young at heart. Do not regret in the old days of what you can do in your youth. Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional!